Southern Hospitality

So as many of you know I recently began taking public transportation to save a bit of money due to high gas costs (I drive a rather large SUV.) This morning I waited at the stop as usual, the bus was a few minutes late, and as I got on board Suavé Dave the driver told me to go ahead and sit down, the ride was on him. Thanks Dave, but I’m still not going out with you. Most of the riders are regulars and as Southerners we tend to chitchat with each other getting to know one another on a more personal basis than most public transportation patrons. Ms. Hilda has been riding the bus since the invention of the wheel so pretty much everyone knows her. She is a very kind woman who I help off the bus each morning as she uses a cane and needs her extra hand to disembark.

Today was a special day. When we arrived at the downtown terminal all transfers exited the bus as usual. Suddenly, another driver boarded the bus with a bouquet of flowers and a balloon. Why you ask? Today is Ms. Hilda’s birthday so in an off-key chorus of mismatched voices we all sang Happy Birthday to Ms. Hilda and wished her a most fabulous day.

I know, is this some crazy shit or what?!?! Flowers, balloons, birthday celebration, ON A CITY BUS! Knowing how skeptical of my silly stories a few of you can be, I had a picture taken with my phone to share this joyous occasion.

Happy Birthday Ms. Hilda!

Thank You For Flying With Us

Those of you that have been lurking here for a while know that I recently started riding the bus. This morning the bus was running late so Dave (he’s our regular driver) allowed me and fellow bus stop loiterer Betty to hop on the bus and ride for free. But, because he was running late, Dave didn’t give Betty and I much time to grab a seat and make ourselves comfortable for the twenty minute ride before he took off like Tony Stewart at the Daytona 500 toward the next stop just two blocks down the street. My computer bag went rolling down the isle and I had to grab one of the poles to keep from following in its wake. I sat down in the last seat available which just happened to be across from the driver. I had a full view of the road ahead. This would NOT have been my choice of seats had I know the way Dave drove when the bus was four minutes behind schedule. I said good morning to the regulars, asked after their weekends, and Dave turned….he TURNED to ask how my weekend was. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, did he not see that Beemer he just about tagged when he hooked a right onto one of our famous one-way streets?!?! Two older, fluffy ladies across the isle from me actually screamed as the turn was made for fear of falling out of their seats. They yelled at Dave to take the turns a bit slower as the bus was already leaning and all of the fat people were on the leaning side. They were afraid the bus was going to tip over at the speeds he was taking the turns and had already berated him for taking the corners on two wheels. I glanced to make sure it wasn’t Sandra Bullock driving the bus with the need to maintain the mph above 50 to keep the bus from exploding. I glanced again just to make sure. Damn, it wasn’t her; I was hoping Keanu would land in my lap.

The next turn Dave made was even better, he didn’t slow down and when the driver of that little gold Honda Accord caught a glimpse of the bus heading straight for the front of his car he threw the car into reverse and squealed out of Dave’s way. The bus came to a screeching halt at a light and I took a moment to thank myself for bringing my umbrella with me as I used it to support myself and keep from tumbling forward and right out the front window of the bus. Only two more turns and we would be downtown at the terminal. I don’t have to switch buses but we sit and take new passengers on that have transferred from other routes. I was pretty sure we would make it there without incident. One more light….and then I saw him. A transient in front of the Greyhound Bus station. At the light. WAITING TO CROSS THE ROAD. He saw us barreling toward him but thought nothing of it as pedestrians have the right of way. Well not in THIS town Mister! Thank goodness he glanced up again and realized the light had turned green and Dave wasn’t slowing down. This gave Mr. Homeless man time to Scooby-Doo it back to the curb just a hairbreadth away from certain death.

Another screeching halt brought us to the downtown terminal with about thirty seconds to spare. We’d made it alive with not one injury amongst us. Transfers got off and on and before long we were back on the road for the second half of the trip. This half was uneventful as Dave had made up for the lost time on the first half of the run. A few of us were discussing fun things we had done this weekend, books we were reading, how much rain fell, the usual. (It’s a very chatty group we have on the first bus of the day.) After ten more minutes of recuperating from the hair-raising first half of the ride, my final destination was reached and I was ready to disembark. A fellow rider thanked Dave for the exciting ride, I stated it was the most excitement I’d had all year and Dave swiveled in his seat, turned to me and said “You need excitement? I’ll take you out to dinner.” Yup, this morning, before I had my daily allowance of coffee, I was propositioned by the bus driver.

So how was YOUR morning?

Filch it Friday

I found this really cool mosaic collage at Magpie’s place last week. I took a few minutes and put together earlier this week for a “Filch It Friday” post both a color and a black and white version of the mosaic. However, Random Chick beat me to the punch and posted it yesterday. Oh well, I’ll just filch from Magpie AND Random Chick instead of just Magpie. Thanks ladies!

Mosaic

This is fun if you have a few minutes to spare.

The concept:

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.

2. Using only the first page of results, and pick one image.

3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab's Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of the picture answers. (Right click the mosaic to copy and save.)

Questions:

1. What is your first name? Marnie

2. What is your favorite food? (any kind of) Meat

3. What high school did you go to? Fort Lauderdale

4. What is your favorite color? Orange

5. Who is your celebrity crush? Mark Wahlberg

6. What is your favorite drink? Coffee

7. What is your dream vacation? County Clare, Ireland

8. What is your favorite dessert? Cookie

9. What do you want to be when you grow up? Crime Scene Investigator

10. What do you love most in life? Family

11. What is one word that describes you? Sarcastic

12. What is your flickr name? Queen Goob

(click on the pictures for a bigger and better view)




Have fun and enjoy your weekend!


p.s. I caught the bus this morning....YEAH ME!

What The ƒü¢k???

WARNING: This post contains graphic language; parental discretion is advised.


This morning I awakened earlier than usual. I shat, showered, and shaved, got ready for work, and left the house by 6:30. Coffee in hand and my “everything fits in this bag because it’s really, really big” orange leather tote tossed over my shoulder, I headed out for a block and a half walk to the 80X express bus stop.

I drive an SUV that gets fourteen to sixteen miles to the gallon in town. There is a bus stop right around the corner from my house that goes directly to my work. I only live about seven miles from work as the crow flies but it’s a good thirty minute drive to get there each morning. The bus schedule indicates that from “my” bus stop to work it is a forty minute ride from start to finish. This is cool and I would still get to the office by 7:30 and not have to stay any later than usual.

So there I stood….on a busy six-lane road….in a bright red Hawaiian shirt so the bus driver wouldn’t miss me….and that MOTHER FUCKER DROVE RIGHT BY MY ASS! The mother fucker I KNOW saw me standing on Thomasville Road between the ABC Liquor store and the traffic court building. What the FUCK did he think???? That I was a piece of shit drunk waiting for the fuckin’ traffic court building to open so that I wouldn’t miss my hearing???? I – WAS – WEARING – THIS! AND…..the asshole WAS LATE! I got there early, stood on the street like a discount prostitute just tryin’ to score one more john so my pimp, Daddy MacTastic Dazzle wouldn't beat my ass to a bloody pulp. I’ve never ridden public transportation in this town before and the MOTHER FUCKER DROVE RIGHT BY MY ASS!

So I walked back to the house, grab the keys out of my “everything fits in this bag because it’s really, really big” orange leather tote, hopped into my own personal mini-public transportation microbus, pull out of the driveway, and headed to work.

At least I got to pop back into the house and get a coffee refill.