Wow, two posts in one day? What, has the world come to? Has hell frozeth over? Has the sky fallen and Henny Penny died before she could let us all know?
Nah, but I saw this video today and laughed so hard; I just knew my friends would enjoy it, too.
By the way, I'm the guy in the light blue shirt....
Showing posts with label beer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beer. Show all posts
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Betty Ford Ain't Got Nothin' On Me
So, I guess I should fill you in on the actual conversation I had with Spawn about the beer because it really wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be. I will do my best to relay the conversation as accurately as I can remember it verbatim. (Is that grammatically correct or did I just totally and completely rape the English language?) We’ve had conversations in the past about alcohol, driving, and all the ramifications of drinking underage both legally and at home. So here goes – as good as it gets:
QB - *drops herself down onto the couch and schlumps up next to Spawn* S’up?
S – Nu’in’
QG – So man…..didja get my note?
S - *slightly turns his head toward me and raises and eyebrow* Huh?
QG – Dude, you are so busted.
S – What?!?!
QG – So who drank the two beers I found in your garbage?
S – I don’t know.
QG - *drops her head slightly and looks at Spawn over her glasses* Come again.
S – I drank one.
QB – Who drank the other one?
S – Cooper
QG – Dude, you are such a dork; who drank the other one?
S - *shrug of shoulders*
QG – Z…… (That’s his nickname)
S – Okaaaaaaaay, I drank them both.
QG – Dude that is so totally uncool.
S - *shrug of shoulders and dropping of head to the side*
QG – Man, I am so disappointed. Number one, those beers were mine and not for you to just take. Number two you drank alcohol while I was outta the house knowing how I’d feel. And number three, I really don’t want to have to worry about you going to a buddy’s house and roaming the streets after a few beers. Do you know how uncool that is? You do remember it’s illegal, right?
S - Yeah.
QB – So you know I don’t want you in a car if you’ve had any alcohol, right? You remember this conversation we’ve had?
S – Yeah.
QG – You’d call me?
S - *slowly swings his head toward me and raises one eyebrow*
QG – Cool.
S – *Throws his arm over my shoulder* Yeah, cool
QG – ‘Ja eat yet?
S – Chicken wings.
QG – Whatcha wanna watch?
S – Knockaround Guys
QG – Cool, Vin looks hot in that wife beater.
* Long pause*
S – Love you mom.
QG Love you too, Baby.
QB - *drops herself down onto the couch and schlumps up next to Spawn* S’up?
S – Nu’in’
QG – So man…..didja get my note?
S - *slightly turns his head toward me and raises and eyebrow* Huh?
QG – Dude, you are so busted.
S – What?!?!
QG – So who drank the two beers I found in your garbage?
S – I don’t know.
QG - *drops her head slightly and looks at Spawn over her glasses* Come again.
S – I drank one.
QB – Who drank the other one?
S – Cooper
QG – Dude, you are such a dork; who drank the other one?
S - *shrug of shoulders*
QG – Z…… (That’s his nickname)
S – Okaaaaaaaay, I drank them both.
QG – Dude that is so totally uncool.
S - *shrug of shoulders and dropping of head to the side*
QG – Man, I am so disappointed. Number one, those beers were mine and not for you to just take. Number two you drank alcohol while I was outta the house knowing how I’d feel. And number three, I really don’t want to have to worry about you going to a buddy’s house and roaming the streets after a few beers. Do you know how uncool that is? You do remember it’s illegal, right?
S - Yeah.
QB – So you know I don’t want you in a car if you’ve had any alcohol, right? You remember this conversation we’ve had?
S – Yeah.
QG – You’d call me?
S - *slowly swings his head toward me and raises one eyebrow*
QG – Cool.
S – *Throws his arm over my shoulder* Yeah, cool
QG – ‘Ja eat yet?
S – Chicken wings.
QG – Whatcha wanna watch?
S – Knockaround Guys
QG – Cool, Vin looks hot in that wife beater.
* Long pause*
S – Love you mom.
QG Love you too, Baby.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Why Irish Mommies Drink Heavily On St. Paddy's Day...
(Conversation with Spawnette this morning)
6:30 a.m.
Honey, it’s time to get up.
mwphf
Would you like me to make you a cup of coffee?
mwphrlb
‘Kay, be right back.
6:33 a.m.
Here’s your coffee Sweet Pea, I’ll check on you in a few.
GUMPH
6:47 a.m.
Honey, you really need to get a move on it, okay?
(Linda Blair shoots up into a sitting position spewing forth…)
I HEARD you the FIRST time!
6:53 a.m.
(I notice there still is no light streaming from under her bedroom door.)
(I softly tap on the door.)
(In a whisper…..)
You up yet?
YES!!!!!
7:02 a.m.
(I slam the door open and flip on the light yelling….)
Grandma’s here to take you to school; I gotta go!
WHERE’S MY BAG????
What bag?
MY BACKPACK!!!!
Where did you see it last?
FRIDAY!!!!
No “where” did you see it last?
I DON’T KNOW!!!!
Hold on, I bet you left it in the car.
I TOLD “HIM” TO HELP ME CARRY MY STUFF IN AND HE NEVER DOES ANYTHING!!!!
(I return in two minutes)
Here it is.
WHERE’S MY BAG????
Right there.
NOT THAT ONE, MOM!!!!
What bag?
MY SOFTBALL BAG!!!! I NEED IT FOR THE GAME TONIGHT!!!!
What game?
MOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!! WE HAVE A GAME AT 4:00!!!!
On the 24th, Honey, not today.
MOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!! IT’S A MAKE-UP GAME!!!!
When did you find this out?
LAST WEEK!!!!
(Deep sigh)
Honey, I really need to go.
I HAVE TO HAVE MY BAG!!!! COACH WILL BE SOOOOOO MAD IF I DON’T HAVE MY BAG!!!!
(Leaning over and grasping the handle of the bag lying at my feet…)
This one?
YESSSS!!!! WHERE WAS IT?!?!?!
Some troll-like creature that goes by the name of Gork slipped into the house last night with the sole purpose of reeking havoc on your perfectly organized morning routine. Don’t worry Honey; Mommy will let him sneak in the house tonight then kick his ever-lovin’ dimply ass for disrupting everything perfect and orderly here in your room.
Mom…..you really need to go.
6:30 a.m.
Honey, it’s time to get up.
mwphf
Would you like me to make you a cup of coffee?
mwphrlb
‘Kay, be right back.
6:33 a.m.
Here’s your coffee Sweet Pea, I’ll check on you in a few.
GUMPH
6:47 a.m.
Honey, you really need to get a move on it, okay?
(Linda Blair shoots up into a sitting position spewing forth…)
I HEARD you the FIRST time!
6:53 a.m.
(I notice there still is no light streaming from under her bedroom door.)
(I softly tap on the door.)
(In a whisper…..)
You up yet?
YES!!!!!
7:02 a.m.
(I slam the door open and flip on the light yelling….)
Grandma’s here to take you to school; I gotta go!
WHERE’S MY BAG????
What bag?
MY BACKPACK!!!!
Where did you see it last?
FRIDAY!!!!
No “where” did you see it last?
I DON’T KNOW!!!!
Hold on, I bet you left it in the car.
I TOLD “HIM” TO HELP ME CARRY MY STUFF IN AND HE NEVER DOES ANYTHING!!!!
(I return in two minutes)
Here it is.
WHERE’S MY BAG????
Right there.
NOT THAT ONE, MOM!!!!
What bag?
MY SOFTBALL BAG!!!! I NEED IT FOR THE GAME TONIGHT!!!!
What game?
MOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!! WE HAVE A GAME AT 4:00!!!!
On the 24th, Honey, not today.
MOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!! IT’S A MAKE-UP GAME!!!!
When did you find this out?
LAST WEEK!!!!
(Deep sigh)
Honey, I really need to go.
I HAVE TO HAVE MY BAG!!!! COACH WILL BE SOOOOOO MAD IF I DON’T HAVE MY BAG!!!!
(Leaning over and grasping the handle of the bag lying at my feet…)
This one?
YESSSS!!!! WHERE WAS IT?!?!?!
Some troll-like creature that goes by the name of Gork slipped into the house last night with the sole purpose of reeking havoc on your perfectly organized morning routine. Don’t worry Honey; Mommy will let him sneak in the house tonight then kick his ever-lovin’ dimply ass for disrupting everything perfect and orderly here in your room.
Mom…..you really need to go.
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