I Need A Catnap

That's my Joshua sleeping

Crazy busy at work.

Crazy busy at home.

Haven't had a free minute to myself in quite a few days.

Leah posted some very good blogging rules; one of which I am breaking right now. Why is it our children wait until the very last minute to do their homework assignments. Homework assignments given to them WEEKS in advance. When I go home at night I like to relax, read a book, speand time surfing the web, go to bed early; any number of things other than running to Walgreens to get index cards because you "have to have them tonight because this is due tomorrow...." Next up is a history project due in two weeks that was assigned before the holidays. Has anything been done? According to her it has but to me the accumulation of three resources is not enough to count towards a history project that has to look like this:

Only twice as tall, like this:

Good thing for me the kids will be with their dad this weekend so that HE can be in charge of making sure things get done.

Oh wait, he won't do that because "that's not fun."

Guess I'll be busy next week as well.

Merlee Odell Goes Shopping

This past weekend Merlee Odell had a date. Yup, my girl was venturing out into the scary world of dating after divorce. She hadn’t been on a date for probably twenty-five years so in order to best prepare herself for this frightening adventure she figured a bit of retail therapy was in order. She asked if I would be willing to assist her in shopping for a new outfit for the date. Me. ME!!! I’m like the WMD of fashion. A Waredrobe Malfunction Disaster waiting to happen. I shop in the boys section of Target because the cargo shorts not only fit better but they’re cheaper than those in the woman’s section. If I could, I would wear my navy blue Van’s or sandals with every outfit I own. I think a baseball cap with my hair pulled through the closure at the back is equivalent to an elegant chignon or French twist. And my girl wants me to go shopping with her. I do have an eye for color so what the hell, I said I'd go with her.

Friday night Merlee comes to the house with a twelve pack of beer, an over-night bag, and her best pair of pajamas. To set the mood for shopping, we had a girl’s night filled with beer, snacks, chick flicks, and lots of laughter. Merlee and I didn’t stay up as late as Spawnette because we knew we’d need our strength for the shopping excursion planned for the morning. After watching Under The Tuscan Sun, Merlee and I hit the sheets. I shared my bed with a cover-stealing cuddler. Okay…….I’m a cuddler too but for those that were going to ask, no, we didn’t take pictures.

I arose at 6:30 a.m., started a pot of coffee, walked through the house to Purgatory (that’s where Spawn and Spawnette reside) to awaken Spawnette and get her ready for a morning of golf with the guys. I reached down and gently brush her arm and she whips around, stares me unblinkingly in the eyes and says – I’m not kidding here – FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHAT DO YOU WANT!?!?! I returned to the kitchen and made sure the coffee was ready because it seemed she was going to need a jumbo cup of Seattle’s Best.

After shoving her out the door and into her father’s care, Merlee and I refilled our cups, sat on the back porch and planned out our day. Kohl’s followed by Governor’s Square Mall, Marshall’s, and PETCO (Merlee was not looking for an outfit there; I was babysitting my neighbor’s pets and ran out of food for the moulting canary.)

For those that love shopping I’m sure it sounds like the perfect day for you. I’m not one of those individuals. Remember how I make it through holiday shopping?

Lucky for us, our first stop, though long, was a great success! Merlee found a lovely blouse, I found some great halter top dresses, and we got out of there before dark. Here's Merlee grabbing some things to try on at Kohl's:

OH!!! And this is the spider we saw crawling up the wall of the store right above the jewelry. That bastard was literally the size of my face!!! We decided to forgo the jewelry for shoes.

We hit Marshall’s “just in case” and I lucked across a fabulous coverlet for my bed. Hi, my name is Marnie and I’m a bedding whore; Hi Marnie! Crossing the street we parked at PETCO for a quick “run in and grab what you need” stop. This is where I ran into difficulties. As most of you have experienced, PETCO, PetSmart, and most retail pet supply stores have adoption booths set up on Saturdays. We, of course, were shopping on a Saturday. The booth at PETCO was set up RIGHT inside the front door so this is what I walked in to:

After sitting on the floor of the store for thirty minutes with that gorgeous guy named Tiger in my lap I quickly grabbed the bird food I originally came for and RAN from the store. I. Was. This. Close. To. Adopting. A. Puppy.

Merlee and I vaulted into the SUV and I drove us back to the house in twenty-seven seconds flat. She grabbed her duffle and headed for home so that she could nap and SSS before her date. I guess the date went well because the guy called her back and asked her out again.

She’s much braver than I. I’ve given up the dating scene but DAMN that guy “Tiger” from PETCO was cute; I may have to see if he’s still available and wants to come home with me.

I’m such a slut.

Ode To The Poopster

Many of us are pet owners but what I’m about to say, most of you will disagree with. My dog is the BEST dog in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD. Yea, yea, yea, I know you think your dog is better than mine but – and I say this with all the love I can muster – your dog’s not even close.

When I picked "The Coop" out at the pound and brought him home, I had no idea what he was other than canine. He actually looked part Jack Russell and part Saint Bernard. What he turned out to be is nothing short of perfection.

Okay, those that have met him know he’s a couple steps shy of perfect but who wants a perfect dog anyway. Cooper is smart, funny, goofy, sloppy, dorky, and lovable. He snores, smacks his food, dribbles water all over the floor when he drinks….from the toilet….and only from the toilet…and he clinks his cookie jar if I’m not fast enough getting him fed. He weighs just under a hundred pounds but loves more than anything to spend an evening in your lap. He cuddles and snuggles and has no idea the couch is not meant for him. He stays out of the garbage but loves to lay in a pile of clean clothes….that’s he knocked to the floor….”accidentally”. He adores kids and friends but is leery of strangers. He barks really loud if he's never met you but always from behind my legs. If “mommy” isn’t there Coop is straight out the doggie-door and into the yard where it’s safe.

Yep, no other dog compares to The Super Duper Pooper Cooper; I wouldn’t change him one bit.