Thursday, October 30, 2008

AARRRRR Ye Ready Fer Halloween?

The Spawn and I especially love the holidays. Halloween is a time for us to get out there and annoy those we love with lots of tricks now that we no longer go house to house for treats. There are many a thing you can do to “show your love” this evening as we celebrate Mischief Night. (For those living in Detroit, grab a pack of matches and hit the streets.) There’s toilet papering, soaping, and corning to name but a few. Weird enough, though, the local-yokels down here have never heard of such a thing. WWHHAAAAATT???? Never heard of Mischief Night? Well come along, friends, and let us introduce you to a tradition that will surely be marked on next year’s calendar.

There’s soaping. This is the rubbing of bars of soap on people’s windows making them opaque. Ivory is great but shaving cream is fun, too. However, we reserve the shaving cream for those neighbors that allow their dogs to poop in our yards because it’s a little more difficult to clean up.

Then we have “corning”. This is where you get field corn and shuck it into little brown lunch bags so that you can hurl it at passing cars or neighbor’s windows. It makes a TREMENDOUS noise when it hits a big bay window. I won’t allow the spawn to throw corn at cars like I did as a kid because way back when I didn’t realize the danger, Will Robinson, that this could cause.

And finally we have the much-loved…. toilet papering. No explanation needed because why? It’s cheap, it’s fun, and it’s a picture perfect moment.

Many a mischief maker throw eggs, however, I have not incorporated this into the family night of fun. If you’ve ever had to clean dried egg from your car you will remind your offspring that eggs are for eating, not for throwing.

This year’s fun will begin with the initiation of the spawns' first attempt at TPing. I figure we’ll hit an unsuspecting victim outside of our neighborhood then take some pictures to show my blogging family. Call me kookie but I have this fear my vehicle will be recognized if we hit a good friend.

Any suggestions who to toilet paper? It can’t be my brother because he reads my blog AND he and his wife would get P-I-S-S-E-D PISSED!


Queen Goob said...

Yes that IS my car!


i dunno if you can get your hands on some sticks of surfboard wax, but that shit works waaaaay better than soap!! sounds like you have an enviable weekend planned!

Queen Goob said...

SEX WAX!!! Ya brother still has surfboards.


Memarie Lane said...

i never heard of it. i thought you wre supposed to do that stuff if you didn't get a treat? heck, these days you could get sued for that kind of thing.

Megan said...

Video! I want video!

Anonymous said...

Rubber bands, man! You need to get inside someone's car and rubber band everything! It's a hoot. It's just really hard to get out once you're done...

Dr Zibbs said...

I was wondering if people still did the corn thing.

Evil Genius said...

There are people who've never heard of it? What, were these people raised by WOLVES??? :-)

Actually, my parents didn't allow me or my brother to engage in these activities. So we'd get around it by conveniently spending the night with a friend. A friend who's parents DID allow it (within reason and with supervision).

We only TP'd and soaped, and it was only people we knew. Although I admit there was one person (my girlfriend's ex-boyfriend) who we once "waxed". We used candles and rubbed them on his car's headlights and tail lights and stuff. That shit is hardcore - it takes awhile to get it all off.

Ahhhh...takes me back to the good 'ole days.


just bob said...

Since when is toilet paper cheap?

Jess said...

OMG! I LOVE TP'ing! I haven't done it since high school, but it was something we did to the teachers we loved the most. We would TP then come back the next day and get pictures, sit, eat breakfast and then go out and help clean it up! Those were such good times!

Mrs. R said...

Haha, I love your car.

Sounds like you've got an interesting night planned. Can't wait to read about it. :)

LceeL said...

Toilet papering? Just pick a random victim. They'll never know who it REALLY was and, depending where you live, you could wind up starting a feud that could last all the way until next Halloween.

Quickroute said...

you boss - toilet paper the boss

Koolio said...

Ahhh...Mischief Night aka Devil's Night! Back when I lived in Philly Camden, New Jersey was set afire each year. The memories!

Like you, no one here knows WTF it is or what it stands for. I have yet to teach the heathen children the ancient art of TPing but some day...some day...

Bonnie the Boss said...

What a mess, is that actual pics of your exploits?
How is the purging going? Are the kids excited?
I am excited for you!

Suzanne said...

I just wrote about toilet paper over on RC's blog. I agree with Bob. Toilet paper isn't cheap. At least not the good stuff.

You are such a degenerate. Frankly, I don't think you're setting a good example for your daughter. But I love ya!!! And you know what's so funny. I have never done a bad thing in my whole life. Never. Why? Who knows!!!???


Practically Joe said...

Please toilet paper my house.
I recycle.

Queen Goob said...

Marie – You do the payback thing for no treat on Halloween; Mischief Night is an entity unto itself.

Megan – I’ll do my best……he he he

RC – OOOOOO, NICE! I may have to try that one!!

Dr. Z – Not many people have heard of it down here, maybe I should start some new Southern Traditions, whatcha think?

Evil – I KNOW!!!! Bunch of non-informed people down here! And the wax on the car’s lights? You are EVIL!

Bob – For TPing purposes, you purchase dollar store products. For personal use, you get the good stuff.

Jess – So…..did ya TP a neighbor?

Mrs. R – I had to take the poor guy off due to a road trip; didn’t want him flying into the windshield of the car behind me as we traveled 85 m.p.h. on Interstate 10. That would not have been a good thing.

Lou – We’ve done the feud thing with pink flamingos in my neighborhood – I should probably go somewhere else to start TPing, huh?

Quickie – I know…..

Koolio – PHILLY! OH YEAH! That’s alright, Jersey needs to be cleaned up every once in a while. Did you recruit new members of the TP Club this year? I love heathens!

Bonnie – No, not my exploits but soon……purging is done and man has moved in. Wow, talk about change!

Suz - Spawnette’s a great kid, don’t forget the post from October 13th. I can’t be that bad…..and only the dollar store stuff for TPing.

Joe – Don’t ask if you don’t mean it – I’m not opposed to a road trip.

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