Monday, January 28, 2008

Do I Look That Desperate?

The spawn and I went out for some pizza to celebrate my elevation to the eighth circle of hell, bolgia ten - thank you Danté. Because we were celebrating, I thought "What the heck, let's splurge and order some bread stick with marinara sauce as well!" As the nubile, young, blonde female-child approached our table to deliver the appetizer, what do you think mine eyes beheld?

YES! This was delivered to our table. Right in front of me. In front of my teenaged, hormonal, I-stay-behind-a-locked-door-because-I-have-to kids. I glance to the left and see Barbie smirking with the other serving wenches while pointing directly at me. They think it funny to mock a middle-aged woman? A middle-aged woman who hasn’t seen her boyfriend in eight weeks and five days? I…think…not!

As my children rise to go to the restrooms to wash their hands (because I demanded they do so, and do so right now) I gently take the breadstick in hand, turn to face those immature, inexperienced girls and proceed to eat the thing whole.

So I'm a tad on the loney side and yes, I am that desperate.

The guys tossing pizza dough in the back gave me a standing ovation.


WA said...


Is the Olive Garden recruiting chefs from the San Fernando Valley these days?

Marie said...

Should have dipped them in Alfredo sauce for full effect.