Come ON Fay, Get A Move On Already……….

This blog post was written early Saturday morning on my laptop with very little battery juice. The power was knocked out at my house in the middle of the night Friday and it has yet to be restored. A tree fell on the line that leads to my house and blew a hole in the meter joint. (Pictures to be downloaded tonight.) I had an electrician come by yesterday late afternoon to tell me there was nothing he could do until this morning. But that wasn’t the bad news. Due to the age of my home, none of the wiring is up to code. So….my mom is having knee replacement surgery tomorrow morning and will be in extended care for a week to ten days. The spawn and I will be crashing at her place until the wiring is done at our house.

Fay……you’re a bitch!

So this is what I woke up to this morning.



But weirder still, half of my house has electricity and half of my house does not. I had electricity throughout the house when I woke up this morning a little before 7:00. But as I sat here downloading pictures to share with you guys, the lights flickered, I heard a that well know BOOM of a breaker box blowing up in the distance and BAM, no electricity for the master bath, bedroom, and half of my kitchen. Half of my kitchen??? What the hell is up with that? At least the half of the kitchen that has electricity is the half that my coffee pot and TV are on.

So now I sit and wait for Mr. Electricity Man to show up at my house and cut the tree away from the line so that he can reattach the wires to the house. I’m thinking maybe Mr. Man should hurry as branches are falling from the trees into my yard and crashing onto the roof. It’s kinda freaking me out a tad.

Hope he’s hot; maybe I’ll tell him he has a nice ass if he is.



Pulling the night shift tonight and tomorrow night so I still won’t be around much. You’d think people that live in Florida would prepare themselves for hurricane season. THIS IS FLORIDA PEOPLE – DO YOUR HOMEWORK BEFORE MOVING DOWN HERE!

Holy Crap

It's 9:30 p.m. I'm home, hungry, and ready to drop. Gonna grab a cajun turkey sam'ich, strip off my clothes, crawl into bed and crash. Have a meeting and need to be at the office ready to go no later than 5:30 tomorrow morning.


Think I got enough time for one lil beer? Sure could use one.

I'm sleepy.........

Tropical Storm Update

If you read yesterday's post you're one of thirteen that know I was activated last night and on the job by 06:00 this morning. Activated for what? Good question as we were asking the same thing.

There was worry of a hurricane hitting The Keys and heading straight up the state of Florida. Monroe County (where The Keys are) had some evacuations, shelters were assembled for those that had nowhere else to go, and logistic staging areas were set up to assist in getting things where they needed to be (water, ice, meds, oxygen, etc.) Too bad they didn't ship me out to one of the LSA's as that's where the military guys are. HOOYAH!

So as I had meteorizationalized yesterday, we didn't have a hurricane, we had a thunderstorm. Yes the weather is still bad over the lower-half of the state but the peninsula called Florida is not going to fall into the depths of the Atlantic or the Gulf of Mexico. We may have a flood or two but no one will be washed away never to be heard from again....we hope.

I know one or two of you are wondering what exactly it is I do. Well, to put it in layman’s terms I sit in a big room, receive missions that have been assigned to our group (which is responsible for “health stuff” i.e. water, ice, oxygen, portable toilets, sanitation stations, special needs shelters for displaced hospitals, etc.) telling us who needs what, when, where, and why. I then get on the horn, order “stuff”, and finally make sure the “stuff” gets delivered.

Look, there’s me helping to supervise the minions:

Wow, how exciting is that, folks??? BUT, I can also have the ability to tell my family and friends where it’s safe to be in the event of a disaster, how to get there via roads that have not been closed, and where to go in the event of an evacuation. Yeah, that’s kinda cool.

So it boils down to no deployment for me this storm; I’ll be staying right here in good old Tallahassee. Tomorrow will be another twelve hour day BUT I’ll be saving all the old people and telling them where to go.

And in my own special way, too.

I'll be catching up with all of my blogging friends as soon as I'm back to normal hours. Stay safe!

Where Are The Fairies And Elves When I Need Them?

fay (f ) - noun - fairy or an elf. [Middle English faie, enchanted person or place, from Old French fae.]

I the world of Webster’s, “fay” may mean fairy or elf but not in the world of Marnie. Nope, today this is Fay:

(The Weather Channel)

This graphic shows the projected path of tropical storm-force wind speeds from Fay over the next 72 hours. (NOAA)

I have been activated as of 10:00 this morning. A tropical storm warning with the potential landfall of a cat 1 or even a cat 2 storm validated the Governor issuing a State of Emergency which means that I, as a logistics supervisor, have been called upon to assist the people of the State of Florida in preparation of a possible disaster. Now remember, it doesn’t take much for an excess of damage to take place; in 2005, Wilma broke records when she strengthen from a 70-mph tropical storm to a 170-mph category 5 hurricane in just twenty-four hours.

(NOAA)

Now what, you ask, do I see in my future for this activation as far as disaster relief and such? I see a really big thunder storm hitting the keys and heading up the west coast of Florida. I see a bunch of guys just WAITING for a storm to hit so that they can go forth and “save the world”. I see more time away from my kids and less time spent at home. I see some storm surge and a bit of flooding but nothing that will bring people’s every day lives to a screeching halt.

But then again I’m not a meteorologist; I just play one in my mind.

Don’t know how long I’m going to be gone but I am to in at 17:00 hrs and start preparing for the worst.

Stay safe, stay cool, stay tuned.

It's Pink Saturday...

...go check it out!

Don’t Look In The Mirror

Spawnette called around four o’clock this afternoon asking me to chaperone her and her friend, “Visigoth”, to see an “R” rated movie. Nothing sexually explicit or raunchy. No, they wanted to see a scary movie.

I love scary movies.

I got the movie time, location, and cash and was ready to go. As this is a weekend with FAPOS (i.e. dad) I told Spawnette I would meet them at the theatre and take the two of them home afterward.

Five o’clock the call comes.

They cancelled on me.

Well damn, those were the only plans I had for the weekend. I have nothing else to do but wash clothes, dust the house, scrub toilets, and bathe the dog and they had the balls to cancel on me?? Well piss on it, I went by myself.

I went to see the early show of the new Keefer Sutherland movie. He’s not one of my favorites but the girls had psyched me up for a scary movie so I purchased my ticket, got my snack (you cannot go to the movies without popcorn; it’s sacrilege) and grabbed a seat right in the middle – halfway up and halfway in…..the perfect spot.

It was the 5:40 show so I wasn’t expecting too many others in the audience. There were eleven others besides myself and one really creepy guy that had his hands behind his back while walking the rows the full ten minutes before the show started.

I failed to mention that I have this irrational fear. Okay, one of many but let’s not go there today because I’ve been in a pensive mood for the past two days.

I don’t look into mirrors in a dark room. I don’t want to lift my eyes and see someone looking back at me. Someone from the other-side, dead, no longer living, with milky white eyes and a death pallor to their skin. You know that lost, malevolent soul is going to reach through that mirror, grab you by the throat, and slither over the edge to finish you off.

Mirrors in dark rooms are scary.

I went to see Mirrors.

I rushed home before the sun set, turned on lots of lights, and am now sitting at the kitchen table with the hallway door closed and the dog by my side.

Cooper weighs a hundred pounds.

Cooper is a pussy.

I’m not going to the bathroom until my bladder is ready to bust so I guess I should slow down on the beer. Only one problem; the movie has now made me apprehensive of all reflective surfaces. Jeez-mo-ninnies, there are a LOT of windows in my house.

Great, I’m a pussy, too.

SHIT…..my backdoor isn’t locked and with my luck that scary guy from the theatre will come bursting through the storm door, grab me by the throat and slither over the table to finish me off.



I. Love. Scary. Movies.

A \lur-nid\ Language

I was perusing some of the blogs I read on a regular basis and finally got around to Let The Dog In! She doesn’t do “Wordless Wednesday” oh, no, no, no, not this classy chick. She does “Learn A Word Wednesday”. I actually love learning new words so I await her new word every Wednesday in order to further my already copious vocabulary with yet another component. My favorite word up until today had been “claque”. (I want my claque to consist of a group of hard bodies with six-pack abs, thank you very much.)

Yesterday’s word for the day was “persiflage”. It’s like chocolate melting on your tongue. Say it with me; “persiflage”. I copied this directly from her blog but I’m sure she won’t mind. (If she does we’ll battle it out later.)

\PUR-suh-flahzh\ noun:

Frivolous or bantering talk; a frivolous manner of treating any subject, whether serious or otherwise; light raillery.

Persiflage comes from French, from persifler, “to banter,” from per-, “thoroughly” (from Latin) + siffler, “to hiss, to whistle,” ultimately from Latin sibilare, “to hiss (at), to whistle.”

She had a short yet entertaining post about hissing in blogs then posed the question of whether or not we were hissers ourselves. Moi? A hisser? Not me, I tend to be more of a sarcastic kinda gal. So in my infamous style I wiki’d “sarcasm” to see from whence this delectable word hailed.

I was shocked. I had no idea. No really, it’s worse than I thought and not even mildly funny.

\SAHR-kaz-uh m\ noun:
A harsh or bitter derision or irony; a sharply ironical taunt; a sneering or cutting remark.

“Sarcasm” appeared in English in 1579, from Late Latin "sarcasmos," in turn from Hellenistic or Medieval Greek "sarkasmos," and ancient Greek σαρκάζω (sarkazo, meaning 'to tear flesh').

To tear flesh.

Okay, it’s more than mildly funny but I thought I’d try my hand at “compassion” just this once.

\kuh m-PASH-uh n\ noun:
a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

Well I guess that was as good as me telling a baby not to fart, not gonna happen. This confirms what we already know; sarcasm is my language of choice, thank you very much.

Anyone need a Band-Aid?

What The Hell Kind of Southern Family Reunion Was That?

The day before the spawn and I left for our end of the summer hoorah family vacation, we spent the day at Wakulla Springs attending a family reunion. As I mentioned before, many of these family members traveled from AlaBAMa, Mississippi, South Carolina, and Georgia. I was so excited about the photo opportunities and stories this gathering would provide that I peed my pants just thinking about it a couple of days before the event.

It was not what I was expecting.

No missing teeth, protruding ears, lopsided eyes, or clubbed feet. Oh no indeed. Instead, we had three carat diamond rings living in four thousand square foot homes. We had Cadillac and BMW’s; Prada and Coach, Manolo Blahnik and Via Spiga. Where were the overalls and suspenders, the lower lip full of dip, and the inbred children of Uncle Cletus and Aunt Pearl? People, this was NOT the South we see in the MGM featured horror movie of the week. This was not Wrong Turn or its sequel. This was a party for a group of Southern Antebellum women minus the hooped skirts and parasols. My nephew is currently ranked thirteenth in the nation for pre-calculus so I didn’t even get a taste of slow-wittedness from cousin Earl.

I was so disappointed.

All I got was this; a picture of a picture of a man and wife no one knew or remembered. But what a great picture, huh?

Where WERE you guys?!?!?!?

________________________________________

On a side note, I took a bunch of pictures of the Springs. It’s a beautiful place of raw beauty bursting with wildlife. I’ll be posting some of the pictures on my photo blog but thought you guys would get a kick outta this.

This is a picture from the pier within the swimming area (note the floating cone in the lower right-hand corner.) But wait! What do mine eyes behold?

Let’s focus in a bit closer, shall we?

You got it, that’s an eight foot alligator gliding through the waters just beyond the swimming hole.

Reason #2 why I don’t go swimming in Wakulla Springs.

Queen Goob Needs......

I know - you're waiting for stories from my vacation because I was gone so long; still drafting them out so please be patient.

While on vacation I was tagged by Random Chick with a meme. The rules are simple: Google "Your name needs" and describe the first ten results. (I didn’t include anything that referenced my blog or comments made on someone else’s blog where I signed my name as this would have really limited the results – it referenced the following blogs: mine more than once, Random Chick, whatigotsofar, catscratchdiva, and memarielane. Considering I only got about 5,600 total links in my search, this wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.)

Just about anything you want – for FREE! Lots of stuff if you’re wanting to become a drag queen.

A memo on safety first at work from Diagnostic Laboratories Services, Inc. Crap, they found out about my HAZMAT suit, didn’t they?

A review of the Grateful Dead concert that took place at the Laguna Seca Raceway in Monterey California in July of 1988. Did you know that a couple of Deadheads camped out on the grounds of a U.S. Army rifle range resulting in the Dead being banned from playing there ever again? Me neither! Go figure!

Lyrics to the songs from the Magical Mystery Tour album first released in 1967. Too bad I’m not a Beatles fan…..not even a little, tiny bit.

An “unofficial” DisneyWiki site referencing Michael Yagoobina, AKA, the Bowler Hat Guy from the feature film Meet The Robinsons. Meet the Robinsons is a computer-animated film and the 46th animated feature produced by Walt Disney Pictures. It is based on the children's book, A Day with Wilbur Robinson by William Joyce. Okee-dokee, then.

This is my personal favorite…a review of Elizabeth LaPrelle’s music from her Rain and Snow album. It seems “Elizabeth sounds like she descended straight from the Blue Ridge circa 1920.” Gosh, and I don’t yet have that CD in my collection; gonna run right out and buy THAT one cause Lord knows I love me some banjo pickin’ mountain music!

Take a moment and listen to Elizabeth’s song “Darlin’ Corey”

The “bebo” profile of a nineteen year old girl from Dublin who was recently accepted into NCAD! You go Abigail! (NCAD is the The National Collegeof Art & Design located in Dublin.)

Guardian’s Ancient Egypt Discussion Board in which someone is in dire need of pictures of Hatshepsut. Who was Hatshepsut? Well, she was the chief queen of Tuthmosis II, who declared herself King of Egypt. That bitch!

It seems the NHRA may not be returning to E-Town in 2009 due to the death of racer Scott Kalitta who died from injuries suffered during a qualifying accident and there are some pissed off people discussing it.

And finally – an article about a curvaceous Miss Surrey hopeful of her outcome in the Miss England competition that took place in July. Hold on, let me see who won….nope, but she placed second.

Thanks RC, that was a hoot. I'm not officially tagging anyone but if you need to steal something on one of those days you just don't have a thing to bitch about, this was a fun.

Update From The Road

(I tried posting this morning but lost connection just outside of Macon. We arrive safe and sound to a big party going on so this is the first chance I’ve had to get the rest of the post up.)

We left a few minutes early this morning. However, when the EX (FAPOS for those of you that know and love him) dropped off the kids last night he provided an alternate route for us to take rather than driving all the way on interstate highways. SOOOOO, we started off taking canopy roads and two-lane highways which take us through small towns where the goats are tied to stakes in fronts yards right next to the ever-present plastic fake geese.

So far we’ve only taken two wrong turns.

Here we are passing through Macon. There are lots of homeless people roaming the street. This one looks like he’s had a long morning already and it was only 11:00 a.m. EST.

Here’s Spawnette surfing the web while on the road; isn’t she cute?

We’re back on a main highway headed toward Interstate 20 which we will take the rest of the way into Charlotte.

Hope you guys are having as exciting a day as we are!




p.s. Sampson….you’re watermelon is not yet ready to be taken off the vine; we’ll check it when we get there….see you soon!

Count Down

As some of you know, I will be on vacation as of 4:30 EST today. I have a family reunion on my ex “mother-in-law’s” side of the family Saturday at Wakulla Spring State Park, but first thing Sunday morning the spawn and I are climbing into the gas-guzzling SUV and hitting the road for Charlotte, North Carolina.

Lots to do on only three minutes spare time so look for me later.

The family reunion includes family coming from Alabama, Mississippi, South Carolina, Georgia, and Florida; can you say “photo op.”?