Friday, August 15, 2008

Don’t Look In The Mirror

Spawnette called around four o’clock this afternoon asking me to chaperone her and her friend, “Visigoth”, to see an “R” rated movie. Nothing sexually explicit or raunchy. No, they wanted to see a scary movie.

I love scary movies.

I got the movie time, location, and cash and was ready to go. As this is a weekend with FAPOS (i.e. dad) I told Spawnette I would meet them at the theatre and take the two of them home afterward.

Five o’clock the call comes.

They cancelled on me.

Well damn, those were the only plans I had for the weekend. I have nothing else to do but wash clothes, dust the house, scrub toilets, and bathe the dog and they had the balls to cancel on me?? Well piss on it, I went by myself.

I went to see the early show of the new Keefer Sutherland movie. He’s not one of my favorites but the girls had psyched me up for a scary movie so I purchased my ticket, got my snack (you cannot go to the movies without popcorn; it’s sacrilege) and grabbed a seat right in the middle – halfway up and halfway in…..the perfect spot.

It was the 5:40 show so I wasn’t expecting too many others in the audience. There were eleven others besides myself and one really creepy guy that had his hands behind his back while walking the rows the full ten minutes before the show started.

I failed to mention that I have this irrational fear. Okay, one of many but let’s not go there today because I’ve been in a pensive mood for the past two days.

I don’t look into mirrors in a dark room. I don’t want to lift my eyes and see someone looking back at me. Someone from the other-side, dead, no longer living, with milky white eyes and a death pallor to their skin. You know that lost, malevolent soul is going to reach through that mirror, grab you by the throat, and slither over the edge to finish you off.

Mirrors in dark rooms are scary.

I went to see Mirrors.

I rushed home before the sun set, turned on lots of lights, and am now sitting at the kitchen table with the hallway door closed and the dog by my side.

Cooper weighs a hundred pounds.

Cooper is a pussy.

I’m not going to the bathroom until my bladder is ready to bust so I guess I should slow down on the beer. Only one problem; the movie has now made me apprehensive of all reflective surfaces. Jeez-mo-ninnies, there are a LOT of windows in my house.
Great, I’m a pussy, too.

SHIT…..my backdoor isn’t locked and with my luck that scary guy from the theatre will come bursting through the storm door, grab me by the throat and slither over the table to finish me off.



I. Love. Scary. Movies.

18 comments:

Bee said...

Ha ha ha!!!! I've had the same irrational fear of mirrors ever since I can remember! I would never go see that movie! Ever ever.
Also, can you see your reflection on the TV when it's in between commercials or whatever you're watching has a dark background??

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Bee said...

Hee hee haha ha!! Do you want to know how much of a chicken shit I am?? I freaked out after watching The Mothman Prophecies! WITH RICHARD GERE!!

Queen Goob said...

Gosh - you're my new best friend. I appreciate that as I'm watching a show about women disappearing with no trace of them left behind.

Oh, and the Mothman Prophecies was filmed IN MY HOME TOWN! AAHHHH!

Bee said...

That right there. That just gave me CHILLS! Now I'm going to have to have some pomegranate juice (mixed with vodka).

Cecile said...

I don't like to look into mirrors because of my own reflection looking back at me. Oh what a hideous site. And SCARY. So mirrors is pretty good is it? I love Keifer Southerland. God he's HOT HOT HOT. I guess I'll have to go check it out sometime, but most likely will have to wait till it comes out on video. Have a nice quiet weekend.

damon said...

Holy crap!!! You mean I am not the only bloggy person in the freak show state? I'll sleep a little easier tonight knowing I'm not representin solo.

I can't go to the movies alone. I can't have anyone sittin behind me without gettin all weebie-jeebied.

(I think Bee is following me) ;)

Bee said...

I'm watching you Damon...

Queen Goob said...

Damon - that's what the back row is for. And the family reunion was a real let down.

Beeeee, quit scarin' everyone! And quit stalking Damon.

Cede - let's hope it stays quiet this weekend.

Annie Ha said...

I am similarly wimpy when it comes to scary movies. (Even ones that aren't that scary.) Ever since I saw the 6th Sense, when I get shivers when I'm alone I freak the f@ck out and refuse to turn around because I know the ghost is RIGHT BEHIND ME.
But I still love scary movies.

Megan said...

I too go to the movies by myself. But not the scary ones.

Mrs. Schmitty said...

I just about blew pepsi outta my nose!

That, my friend, is why I no longer watch scary movies. I too am a member of the pussy club.

Evil Genius said...

I'm hurt that you didn't call me. I would have gone to the scary movie with you. LOVE LOVE LOVE me some scary shit!!!!!!

Cami said...

ROFL! I am such a fan of chicks cool enough to go to movies solo. Says something VITAL about you. It says: SHE's SO COOL! I wanna see this one. Just showed my middle school aged children THE LOST BOYS w/ a much, much younger Kiefer. They loved it! Esp. the exploding vampire scenes @ the end. Can't wait to see MIRRORS. Maybe by myself cause I'm like that!

Leah said...

I love scariness, love it. I saw "Blair Witch Project" by myself, but I made my friend pick me up afterwards and walk me home!!!!

I wasn't scared of mirrors in the dark, but I sure as heck am now!

Satsuki Rebel said...

I HATE scary movies and that is one that I REFUSE to EVER see! I agree whole-heartedly, mirrors hold the "ebil" in. I have a huge one on my dresser that faces my bed. When the time comes to pass out I always refuse to look. I turn my back, cuddle up with my second pillow (pretending it's a male capable of protecting me) and close my eyes. One movie truth- they only kill you AFTER you look at them. So, in theory my plan works... so long as you keep your eyes closed until morning, even if you feel hot breath against the back of your neck. I'm kinda the same in daylight too. Unless I putting on makeup or brushing my hair I always avert my eyes. I wonder... if we had never seen any scary movies would mirrors still be scary?

Alice said...

I don't do mirrors in the dark either. I think I read this 'Bloody Mary' tale when I was younger and that pretty much sealed the deal.

Mrs. R said...

Sorry for the late comments, I lost control of my life at some point that I cannot identify, and I haven't gotten it back yet...

But I'm with Alice. Bloody Mary was all the rage on my elementary school playground...to this day I have to turn on the lights whenever I'm around one.

hmduey said...

Forgive the late comment - vacation and all that. I want to go see this movie! Hubby doesn't like scary ones but if you ever need someone to go with you, I'm game! I like the really creepy ones; not just slasher films.