Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Where’d The Merry Go?

I want to know if ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy? But alas, if I’m not happy, no one is happy. Must be the Irish temper thing plaguing my home; my fiery nature; may all the miscreations that misunderstand me just burn in the flaming pits of……

Sorry, what I meant to say there is Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Happy Hanukkah!

No, that’s not true either. At Publix yesterday I greeted the bagboy with a cheerful “Christmas!” He looked at me oddly (go figure) and I responded with a blistering “Well it ain’t merry at MY house, buster!” Funny enough, he didn’t offer to take my cart to my car and unload the grocery bags for me and King slinked off into the sunset.

King Dork’s daughter arrives this afternoon for a week-long visit. “Orlagh” is a beautiful girl with a heart of gold. I can’t wait to see her and spend time with her here in the unusually warm weather we’re having. (Sorry Gig, it was cold last week.)

My only issue is the fact my house is trashed. When I say trashed I mean really trashed. I am one of those people that must have a clean house whenever visitors are coming to stay. WHAT?!?!? My house isn’t clean? No it’s not. For the past week I’ve been trying to explain to the rest of the members of the household that this is something important to me – a clean house. They don’t understand the importance when there are Wii and role-playing games to be played. “Don’t worry, she won’t care” is a comment I have heard often these past seven days. She may not but I will. Is it just me or is your home a reflection of you? It is? Great, I’m trailer trash. AWESOME!!!

This is what my home would normally look like sans the Christmas decorations that at this time of the year should be up:


This is what is currently resembles:





See my dilemma here? No? Well you guys don’t count because I know you don’t understand but ladies? Could you help me out here while I try to explain?????

I came home last night with a “fuck it” attitude, made jambalaya for dinner (it was really, really good by the way), washed up afterwards and proceeded to clean The King and I’s bathroom. That’s it, just the bathroom. I told King that Orlagh was to use our bathroom and not the room of Spawn. He said “No, she can use the kids’ bathroom.” I informed him I was fresh outta HAZMAT suits and he said, “yes, dear.” I love it when he says that, it just brings a tear of joy to my eye.

So here I sit, an hour before Orlagh arrives with a dirty house, no Christmas decorations except for the yard things the boys put out in an attempt to escape my bad mood, and no idea where the sweet princess will sleep as the previously thought out scenario included the cleaning off of the couch in the Florida Room.

Oops…..you forgot about THAT one guys, didn’t ya?

Awwwww fuck it and CHRISTMAS to all!

11 comments:

Memarie Lane said...

people always give me that "so-and-so won't care" line too. i have pride! i have dignity! the only person i don't clean for is my mother-in-law. anyone who thinks their house is messy should get a look at hers. it would be quite an ego boost.

Dr Zibbs said...

I hear you with the messy house. The clutter is driving me crazy. It doesn't bother my wife or my kids but it drives me nuts!

just bob said...

Bah Humbug. Screw cleaning and play Wii instead. And WTF is up with the Publix bagboy?

just bob said...

Oh yeah, I still luv me some Publix Fried Chicken.

just bob said...

Oh yeah, one more thing. I went to Lucky's last night and the fried chicken at the deli sucked major ass. I effing hate California.

Megan said...

I like the arrows. Looks like a flow chart gone very, very bad.

Megan said...

Oh, and Bob? Serves you right shopping at Lucky's.

just bob said...

It's either Lucky's or Safeway... and Safeway is the sweaty, stinky armpit of California.

Leah said...

I really feel for you. I won't even post pics of the current state of my living room. We're so bad that one of our bathrooms has turned into storage. WTF? I just wanna park a dumpster outside and throw everything out the window...

Just stay calm. Maybe enlist the help of certain houseguests.

Giggle Pixie said...

As much as I know that the people who come into my home could care less if they saw any mess, I also know that to me, cleanliness is next to...my fucking sanity.

So see? I do understand. And I totally feel for you. Wish I could fly over there and help you get your own sanity back.

Beer helps, ya know? :-)

Quickroute said...

Nag Nag Nag! - and your point is?