Friday, June 27, 2008

Turf Wars

I was crusin’ da hood wif my joe wenz I hit a deuce o’hard gink. (I was perusing the blogosphere whilst I enjoyed a cup of coffee when I suddenly happened across some very tough hombres.) Wise head, I’z said upside myself, dis is yank! (I though to myself that this just may become a difficult situation.) They be trippin’ ifs they hang a vag he'a! ( It may not be a good idea for these gentlemen to continue occupying space in this general vicinity.) I’z gonna throw lead ‘n pop dem rube. (Should they continue at this locale, I will be forced to draw my firearm and eradicate these vermin.) Take a bounce, true, you ain’t my plugs. (Gentlemen, you may want to consider vacating the vicinity and returning from whence you came.) You’s a daisy an’ hims a nance, hop in dat flivver an' scram out! (Neither of you gentlemen look robust enough to handle this situation; you may want to consider getting into that Ford Explorer behind you, which I believe is yours, and return to your homes.) Ringers! (You two seem to be under the impression you’re a tad more dangerous than myself…..I beg to differ.) Me? I’z da butter n’ egg man, you's not gonna dangle? Fine, pack your colors an' dance! (Me? Why I myself am quite the man about town and have a number of reservation in sharing my good fortune. If you truly feel you must stay to sample the areas goods, I must call you out and challenge your intentions.)


That was pretty much the conversation that went on in my head when I first ran across Ice who then introduced me to BG (There are a number of BG postings, look for them all!) These ladies are some funny girls! And then…..an inspiration! (Okay, it was a suggestion) TURF WARS. The north verses the south. I am so there! These guys are Yankees for cryin’ out loud. Okay, okay so I was born and raised in Pennsylvania but I grew up in South Florida. I understand protecting ones turf. I am older, stronger, wiser and am prepared to wreak havoc amongst this younger crowd.

Ladies? Is there anyone else out there ready to protect their turf? I think we could take these young whipper-snappers on and show them who’s boss. Dibs on who wants to help me take ‘em out? Look for me to show them who’s coming out on top because when it comes to turf…..THIS – IS – WAR!

Thank you both to V. Ice and BG - you guys are awesome!

16 comments:

Memarie Lane said...

Do I have to kill someone to join your gang or can I just give them a wet willy?

Alice said...

Thanks for the shout out, but I don't know what side of the turf war to be on! I've spent more of my life in GA & SC so I'd say I'm more of a SE Coaster. But now I'm in boring Maryland which isn't really North. Ugh..to hard..

Oh - and Yo - your lingo is WAY better than mine!

V. Ice said...

Yo yo yo - Someone gonna be callin' in a 187 soon.

Now excuse me while I find Mary Jane.

Queen Goob said...

Memarie - a wet willy would be "OK" but I think a wedgie would be better.

Alice - MD, huh? My bruthas be just over the line in E.PA. So you can rule whatever you want. And the gangster slang site does wonders for a poor white southern yankee.

V. Ice - TRU DAT cuz dis here is code grape!

Quickroute said...

reminds me of my trip to Belize. I hadn't a clue what they were saying. Peace out homies!

catscratch diva said...

LOL. I'm so non-confrontational. I'm a wuss.

VE said...

Hmmmm...I ran it through Babel Fish and got a different translation...

Kelley said...

Yo, my turf is anything south of the equator. Ya feel me...

Queen Goob said...

Quickie - Later Homie! We be trippin’ on the homefront!

Diva - YOU? Non-confrontational? Absurd!

VE - Babel Fish does translate from "gangsta" to "English". Whadya choose, Portuguese?

Kelley - Bring it, tru?

Queen Goob said...

VE - or rather itDOESN'T, my bad!

Jezebel said...

So where in PA were you born and raised?! I was born and raised in PA too! Yay us!

KathyLikesPink said...

Wedgie??? I'll bring the ATOMIC WEDGIE. Look out, yo. I'm down wit dat.

Time to get my shorty outta bed.

Sue said...

Thanks for the shout-out!!!!!! And for commenting today. Your lingo is off the chain, yo.

Mrs. R said...

I only speak Caucasianese, so I don't think I'd be a very good soldier. Plus the fact that if anyone wanted my frozen tundra turf, I'd hold a ribbon cutting ceremony in their honor.

Queen Goob said...

Jezebel – I was born outside of Pittsburgh in a very small town by the name of Kittanning but spent much of my time outside of Philly as all of my family is there. (I like Eastern PA better!) How about you?

Kath – Did ya pass that wedgie to the short one?

Sue – yo, yo, yo, I’ll be hangin’ at da lip, tru!

Mrs. R. – Caucasianese?!?!?! Ribbing cutting ceremony? You crack me up!

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