Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Who Says It Needs To Be Halloween?

Spawnette invited a friend to spend the night last night. The two of them made plans to go to the movies (as long as I was willing to taxi them) to see the new thriller/horror movie, The Strangers. They even agreed to let me go to the movies with them if I promised to sit off to the side in an unoccupied part of the theatre all by myself with no one to grab during the film. I did not have a problem with my expulsion from the human race; I was going to the movies!

Much to my dismay, by the time I returned home from work yesterday afternoon the girls had changed their minds on what movie they wanted to see. Brace yourselves for a moment. Okay, are you ready? They wanted to see that Kung Pau Chicken Panda movie. UN – AC – CEP – TABLE. (Don’t get me wrong, I love animated movies just as much as the next mom but come on, if you had your choice between a martial arts panda with a predictable outcome and a suspenseful scary movie, which movie would you pick?) I pulled out the AMC20 afternoon listings and through divine intervention was able to find the two movies beginning and ending only fifteen minutes apart. Thank You Baby Jesus, A-Men.

We jumped into my gas-guzzling SUV and flew to the theatre with just moments to spare. We purchased our matinee-priced tickets, fought our way through the concession stand line, filled a smuggled brown lunch bag with some of the girls’ popcorn for myself, and off we went to our respective theatres; The Strangers in theatre 3, and Panda Excrement in theatre 16.

How many of you have been to the movies lately? Is it just me or have the previews been over-run with advertisements. I’m there to see a motion picture, not complete an in-depth critique listing the pros and cons of the seven automobiles promoted before the previews of upcoming movies. I. ENJOY. THE. PREVIEWS.

After the movies (no, I’m not telling you how the movie ended…..) the girls and I grabbed a bite to eat at The Red Elephant, packed up our leftovers, and went home for the evening.
As the evening progresses, the girls tire of playing the video game Rock Band. They come to my bedroom with a stack of DVD’s asking which of the movies they have selected is the scariest. Oh yes, my friends, the girls want to have a “Scary Movie Night” at my house. I look through the selection and determine they would NEVER appreciate Bruce Campbell in Army of Darkness as much as I so I chose for them Boogeyman, Phantasm, Candyman, and Dawn of the Dead. Of the four, they chose Boogeyman as their first film of horror……

I shit you not when I say that no less than seven minutes later blood-curdling screams emitted from my living room along with surround-sound horror movie music and sound effects. It. Was. Awesome.

I fell asleep before the first movie of their all-night-horror-movie-marathon was over. When I lept out of bed this morning to slap my alarm into ten-more-minutes-of-sleep-submission, Spawnette was curled into a fetal possision against the dog on the floor of my bedroom. No covers, no pillow, nothing at all to cover her feet and a friend that was AWOL.

My job was done.
My....God....I love scary movies.
For a great list of scary movies, visit the Boxoffice Prophets - last list on the page.


Attila The Mom said...

Hahahahaha! Were you and I separated at birth?

"They even agreed to let me go to the movies with them if I promised to sit off to the side in an unoccupied part of the theatre all by myself with no one to grab during the film."

And I'm totally with you on the Panda crap. Not going to pay money to see that ever.

Mrs. R said...

"...Spawnette was curled into a fetal possision against the dog on the floor of my bedroom."

Best. Line. Ever.

And what a cool mom you are. My mom would have made me watch the Panda movie...

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a gore fest - love it!

Bee said...

Candyman ::shiver::
I always joke around with everybody that if they say my name 3 times I'll come out of the ether to smack them. This prevents them from talking about me. :o)

I really really really want to see the strangers but I'm a little bit (ALLOT) scared.

Alice said...

I'm not much for scary movies anymore. My mind is simple these days.

I've also been meaning to see if you'd finished "Lover Enshrined"?!?!?!

Memarie Lane said...

I don't mind a good cartoon, but that Panda one looks heinous.

LceeL said...

Well done, you. I could never do that to my boys - they always laughed at scary movies - so what I've done is find creative ways to embarrass them. Which they find just as scary, in a way. It's fun to see them go pale when I reach out to shake hands with the latest girlfriend.

the mama bird diaries said...

I can not watch scary movies. And animation bugs me too. Aren't i fun?

But i love a good action flick or a romantic comedy.

Laughed out loud at Kung Pau chicken panda.