Thank You For Flying With Us

Those of you that have been lurking here for a while know that I recently started riding the bus. This morning the bus was running late so Dave (he’s our regular driver) allowed me and fellow bus stop loiterer Betty to hop on the bus and ride for free. But, because he was running late, Dave didn’t give Betty and I much time to grab a seat and make ourselves comfortable for the twenty minute ride before he took off like Tony Stewart at the Daytona 500 toward the next stop just two blocks down the street. My computer bag went rolling down the isle and I had to grab one of the poles to keep from following in its wake. I sat down in the last seat available which just happened to be across from the driver. I had a full view of the road ahead. This would NOT have been my choice of seats had I know the way Dave drove when the bus was four minutes behind schedule. I said good morning to the regulars, asked after their weekends, and Dave turned….he TURNED to ask how my weekend was. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, did he not see that Beemer he just about tagged when he hooked a right onto one of our famous one-way streets?!?! Two older, fluffy ladies across the isle from me actually screamed as the turn was made for fear of falling out of their seats. They yelled at Dave to take the turns a bit slower as the bus was already leaning and all of the fat people were on the leaning side. They were afraid the bus was going to tip over at the speeds he was taking the turns and had already berated him for taking the corners on two wheels. I glanced to make sure it wasn’t Sandra Bullock driving the bus with the need to maintain the mph above 50 to keep the bus from exploding. I glanced again just to make sure. Damn, it wasn’t her; I was hoping Keanu would land in my lap.

The next turn Dave made was even better, he didn’t slow down and when the driver of that little gold Honda Accord caught a glimpse of the bus heading straight for the front of his car he threw the car into reverse and squealed out of Dave’s way. The bus came to a screeching halt at a light and I took a moment to thank myself for bringing my umbrella with me as I used it to support myself and keep from tumbling forward and right out the front window of the bus. Only two more turns and we would be downtown at the terminal. I don’t have to switch buses but we sit and take new passengers on that have transferred from other routes. I was pretty sure we would make it there without incident. One more light….and then I saw him. A transient in front of the Greyhound Bus station. At the light. WAITING TO CROSS THE ROAD. He saw us barreling toward him but thought nothing of it as pedestrians have the right of way. Well not in THIS town Mister! Thank goodness he glanced up again and realized the light had turned green and Dave wasn’t slowing down. This gave Mr. Homeless man time to Scooby-Doo it back to the curb just a hairbreadth away from certain death.

Another screeching halt brought us to the downtown terminal with about thirty seconds to spare. We’d made it alive with not one injury amongst us. Transfers got off and on and before long we were back on the road for the second half of the trip. This half was uneventful as Dave had made up for the lost time on the first half of the run. A few of us were discussing fun things we had done this weekend, books we were reading, how much rain fell, the usual. (It’s a very chatty group we have on the first bus of the day.) After ten more minutes of recuperating from the hair-raising first half of the ride, my final destination was reached and I was ready to disembark. A fellow rider thanked Dave for the exciting ride, I stated it was the most excitement I’d had all year and Dave swiveled in his seat, turned to me and said “You need excitement? I’ll take you out to dinner.” Yup, this morning, before I had my daily allowance of coffee, I was propositioned by the bus driver.

So how was YOUR morning?