Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I Love It When A Hot Guy Knows CPR and I'm Choking To Death

Sitting in my office this morning with a hot, young guy discussing an upcoming conference in Orlando for the State Medical Response Team we are both members of, I asked Mr. Hottie to hold tight before leaving as I wanted to introduce him to someone.

Ben-Honey (I call him this because not only is he a cutie-patootie, he’s just so damn sweet, too), I’d like you to meet V.Ice. He’s been having an extremely exciting summer. He’s currently taking some much deserved R and R while deployed in the Middle East, but I know he won’t mind taking a minute to say ‘S’up?!?!’ Ben, this is V.Ice; V.Ice, this is Ben.”

I then proceeded to literally start choking as I inhaled the sip of coffee I had just taken at the same time I started to read.

Thank God Ben knows CPR.

Thank you sweet baby Jesus that Ben is hot.

Thank you moì-même for brushing your teeth.

But most of all, thank you Alice for the best laugh I’ve had all week.

This medal is presented to you for your bravery and fearlessness in this war against humanity. This war of ennui. For this I am eternally grateful.

A-men.

27 comments:

Alice said...

Oh. My. God. If I can in any way help you get closer to a fine guy, I'm there for you! Can you do the same for me? (Love you Babycakes!)

Thanks for the way cool medal! I'm frantically thinking of a way I could MS-Paint it around V.Ice's neck.

(Psst...I'm still here..send hot guys my way...)

You rock pretty hard yourself - you, me, some beer, one day.

LceeL said...

How does choking on a sip of coffee lead to CPR?

and Alice, I'm sure Babycakes is comforted by the assurance. Ahem.

Practically Joe said...

What a heart warming post ... now I'm all choked up! Quick ... somebody hug and lip-lock me!

Queen Goob said...

Alice - V.Ice is gonna look hot with that medal! I've got that beer on ice waiting! Oh, and I'm not bad at poker.....for a blonde.

Lou - I know, I know, I should have referenced rescue breathing BUT come on, hot guy, lips on mine....do I need to go on?

P.Joe - Run upstairs, quick, your wife has a free moment.

Quickroute said...

lol - Your encouraging your readers feign the need for CPR next time they're down the local cocktail bar!

Queen Goob said...

Hell yea! I'll be nice and wear some chapstick, 'kay?

just bob said...

The way I look...

no one would ever come save me!

Mrs. R said...

Okay, your morning sounds a lot better than mine...

Random Chick said...

LMAO!!! Girl, you crack me up!

Thanks for introducing me to Alice too. She's a hoot!

You could totally get hottie guy too...you are a "cougar," right? LOL!!!

http://www.ajc.com/health/content/health/stories/2008/07/15/cougar_movement.html

Suzanne said...

I just learned what a "courgar" is a few weeks ago. My hubby introduced me to the term. Good Lord! No really, Good Lord, how does he know all this shit?

Well honey, my advice to you is keep chokin' on stupid stuff and be in desperate need of lip lock. You're doing pretty good for your age. At the rate your going you could be serviced a few times/week. Who knew life could be so much fun after 40?

Luv ya,
Suze XO

Bee said...

I am currently interviewing for an assistant. The one I had 2 years ago was yum. Cross your fingers I get another good one this year!
;o)

Queen Goob said...

Bob – You know women would stand in line to lock lips with you and I’d be there waiting my turn.

Mrs. R. – With your boss, I bet mine morning WAS better.

RC – Boy am I glad your back! I think I’m enjoying you trip almost as much as you did. Don’t forget to recommend some drinks. And yes, I am a cougar; the last guy I dated was actually the only guy I’ve dated that was older than me since the 80’s……LOL RrrrrrrOOOOOOaaaaarrrrrrr

Suzanne, Suzanne, Suzanne – One of the many reason’s we love you so much is your naivety; I’m so glad your man is there to guide you into corruption. OH, OH, I think I’m getting ready to choke on something. BEN!!! XO backattcha!

Bee – EVERY woman should have a hottie assistant – we call them sexataries.

just bob said...

Ha...Ha...Ha...Ha...

There's that nonexistent fictional line again.

Queen Goob said...

BOB! I'm right there!!!

minlinhe said...

Wow! Now I know what is wrong with my day. I need a hot guy in my office. Can I borrow yours?

Queen Goob said...

minlinhe - Sure, just grab him when he walks by your hellhole; hopefully it will be one of the days he wears tight jeans.

just bob said...

QG: You should probably check out I quit #3 to find out more about "the line."

Queen Goob said...

I've never had a line either but I hung the velvet covered rope across the path into my life and have quit �looking� myself. But that's okay, I enjoy my own company. I'm witty, funny, intelligent, and almost always give myself good advice. Almost always.....

I'm glad you didn't quit blogging and hope the light at the end of the tunnel is growing brighter with every new friend you make. When and if you're ready, you'll unhook that rope and let �em back in.

just bob said...

The "sorry we're closed" and "out of business" signs are already permanently affixed to me.

Queen Goob said...

I tired that but the staple gun REALLY hurt!

catscratch said...

If he's that hot, I'd have choked on purpose.
:)

LceeL said...

Hey!! It's Friggin' Friday already and this blog has looked absolutely the same since Wednesday!!

the mama bird diaries said...

Now I'm jealous that you choked. How is that possible?

LceeL said...

Marnie, are you okay?

Chandelier said...

WOW!!! I knoe Mr. Hottie! He DEFINATELY is HAWT!!! He was my trainer for CPR...unfortunately, we weren't alone. I tried very hard to get him to let me be his volunteer, but he wasn't having any of it (the UGLY guy in the coner on the other hand...EWWWWW!!!). Of course with him being an EX-FIREMAN I'm sure he could put out the fire he causes wherever he goes...I hope he stays in Tally, eye candy is hard to come by! Love you, Goob!!!

Queen Goob said...

Chandelier - guess who I'm going to the movies with.....too bad its not an actual date, huh?

Chandelier said...

OH. MY. GAWD!!!! I think I'm havin' the vapors! But knowing the two of you - you'll be laughing at the teeny bopper girls screaming at the horror flick you're goin' to! Of course, THAT could be a way to jump on his lap...but then again, HE knows YOU and that wouldn't happen even if Michael Myers (no, NOT the Shrek one!) jumped behind you...on the OTHER hand...